002 | Banquet of Chestnuts

For our second episode, we talk about the "Banquet of Chestnuts", the history of Indulgences, and I hilariously confuse the Inquisition with the Crusades! You can miss this example of idiocy! 


This show was first recorded in Jan 2015, as an episode of The Good Atheist. However, since the Sketchy show was still in development, I decided to include it since the topics are highly interesting. 

Losing the Bible Stories Drawings: The first 5 drawings of Bible Stories were misplaced by yours truly, and my best guess is that my bag may have actually been stolen. There was a Sony PSP in there, so some selfish person probably took that and tossed the rest.  

Art as Currency: Ever wonder why there’s artwork on money? It’s hard to replicate, and more importantly, it’s got to look impressive if you’re going to give things away for some scraps of paper.

Starting your own Mico-Nation: So, you’ve been thinking of running away and creating your own island nation, I should probably warn you that according to International rules, you have to be able to defend it militarily. [1]

Pope Opens Door for Diplomacy with Cuba: Sure, it’s great that Pope Francis helped open the door for Cuban-American relations [2], but that doesn’t make up for the rest of the terrible shit they keep doing, like laundering money for criminal organization. [3]

A Short History of Indulgences: The Catholic Church needed money,  so they hit upon a brilliant idea: give people “get out of jail free” cards for sinners, and then you can make so much cash, you can build a gigantic palace. [4]

Funerals are for the Living: Call me crazy, but I never understood why we put the entire focus on the dead when they pass, especially considering the fact that they no longer have feelings you need to worry about. The dead do not suffer the living! 

Henotheism: It’s a very uncommon religious term, but when you read the definition, you realize that there are a lot of religions that qualify as henotheistic, especially the Catholic Faith. [5]

Hellenism and it’s Influence on Judaism. There is a limited amount of scholarly article on this subject, since it’s not something many Jews like to admit to. There are a few books on the subject, however. [6] The ultimate result was a huge religious war started by the Maccabees, which would later be a huge inspiration for early Christians as well. [7]

The Bible thinks Pi is 3: To be fair, the reason the Bible thinks that Pi is only 3 is because they ripped it off from the Babylonians.[8]

How to Make a Million Dollars: A few years ago, The Randi Foundation offered a million dollars for people who wanted to prove they had supernatural powers. Unfortunately, it appears that they have discontinued the fund due to people wasting their damn time. [9] 

Understanding Lord of the Rings: Are you a little confused and you love short videos explaining everything for you? This is the best summary I could find. [10]

The Banquet of Chestnuts: This was the name of the Papal orgy in the 1500’s, over 50 prostitutes and a fucking contest in an orgy that would make the Romans blush a little. To be fair, it’s been “contested” by historians, but keep in mind that most of these sexually represed dudes have a hard time believing human nature [11]

Confusing the Inquisition with the Crusades (Retraction): Had a brain glitch there. I momentarily confused the 9 Crusades with the different Inquisition. You didn’t get a “get-out-of-jail” free card for ratting out your neighbor as a potential witch. You got half their stuff instead. The other half went to the Church, of course. [12]

A Temporary Marriage License: You really have to wonder if these people think their god would be so easily tricked by this kind of thing. As usual, it just shows that all people want to do is follow whatever rules their slave masters put in front of them. [13]

The Succession of Muhammad: In a story reminiscent of Alexander of Macedonia, there are always disputes after a shortly lived empire experiences the death of their leader. It’s really just more about people exploiting a chance in the natural social order. [14]

Year of the Anti-Popes (Retraction): It was actually three Popes, and not 4 that what was eventually known as the Western Schism which occurred in the mid 14-15th century. They called these rival popes: Anti-Popes, because they are totally weird. [15]

Speculations on ISIS:  Keep in mind that many of these predictions were made back in late 2014 (making it an earlier show than #1), so I’m if things seem a bit dated, now you know. I do hate that I had the Inquisition still confused by the Crusades, but in all fairness I was a little drunk. [16]

Abrupt Ending: For those of you that wonder why the show ended so rapidly, it was due to  it having been originally recorded as an episode of “The Good Atheist”. It was good enough that I felt it belonged in Sketchy, but I tried to alter it as little as possible. 

[1] http://www.faena.com/aleph/articles/how-to-start-your-own-micronation/
[3] http://www.businessinsider.com/gods-bankers-financial-scandals-at-the-vatican-2015-2
[4] http://scholarship.rollins.edu/mls/7/
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henotheism
[6] https://www.amazon.ca/Bible-Hellenism-Influence-Christian-Literature/dp/1844657868
[7] http://kenspiro.com/article/history-crash-course-29-revolt-of-the-maccabees/
[8] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Approximations_of_%CF%80
[9] http://web.randi.org/home/jref-status
[10] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxgsxaFWWHQ
[11] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2811992/
[12] https://books.google.ca/books?id=UqNOxF8nqVMC&pg=PT301&lpg=PT301&dq=inquisition+half+of+belongings&source=bl&ots=LH7_GZzDqg&sig=UFt0lEVY5wpf2R_WbT1Jwo0lbis&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjD8Izb8PvRAhVLwGMKHTr3DwsQ6AEIGjAA#v=onepage&q=inquisition%20half%20of%20belongings&f=false
[13] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_mut%E2%80%98ah
[14] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succession_to_Muhammad
[15] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Schism
[16] http://www.powerengineeringint.com/articles/print/volume-22/issue-8/features/iraq-s-electricity-from-crisis-to-isis.htm